Piangi's Diary
by VAMP32
Summary: Disclamer: I do not own POTO or anythinganyoneinvolved with it. Definitely don't own Piangi. Who would, besides Carlotta?Summary: A humorous look at what happened to Piangi. From Piangi’s POV. Major Raoul Bashing, so be warned.It is what happened at the o
1. Chapter 1 Rehearsals For Hannibal

Diary of Piangi

I know it has been a long time since I wrote the first one. I've been busy with a move and other things. I have it finished but will only post a little bit now.

Day 1:

We got new managers and also a new patron today. The managers upset my Carlotta, not once but twice. I think the new patron is a fop. He had on some glittery lip-gloss. (Snicker.) I had my trust miniature with me today. Anyway back to the new managers, Senior LeFevre came in with these two buffoons and interrupts the rehearsal. Apparently, he is retiring and these idiots are taking over. They made their fortune in junk. Then they introduce their new patron. (Who is obviously a fop.) Carlotta started to fawn all over him but I don't think she realized that he was interested in trying on her dress.

The rehearsal starts back up and Carlotta sees that the new managers are more interested in the dancers than us. After the song is finished, Carlotta threatens to walk out and then they end up blubbering like fools (which they are) to keep her there. They requested the aria to be sung and she graciously complied. Alas, the curtain then fell on her. The stupid stage manager, Buquet started saying it had to be the "ghost", but it was obviously he. (The lecherous drunk! He spies on the dancers while they are dressing you know.) Anyway, the curtains fell and we were outa there.

Apparently that little reptile fanatic Christine took Carlotta's place. Don't know what happened but when the maid came out and smiled, then Carlotta fainted.


	2. Chapter 2 Ill Muto

**Disclamer: **I own none of these characters, toads or worms. Nor do I own the mirrors. 

Enjoy! I had to re-read my first one to edit my new stuff. I forgot how funny it was.

Another interesting day at the Opera Populaire. Carlotta received this horrible note which was obviously from the fop. It had his seal on it. Plus it was horribly misspelled. The Phantom's notes are always well written. Plus it had all this glittery lip-gloss all over it. UGH! Some horribly smelling perfume. I think he stole some of Carlotta's but don't tell her I said that. Apparently that little Senorita Christine went missing. Carlotta told me that she heard that she ran off with some man. I have to agree with Carlotta. It couldn't have been Raoul, as he would never be described as a man. Or she went frog hunting. Last time, it took Carlotta three days to get rid of all the frogs that she left in her underwear. Anyway, enough of the frogs. Apparently, Christine was supposed to have dinner with the fop but I guess she realized what a weirdo he was. I think she should try hooking up with the Phantom. He at least has brains. She can cook. The cookies were good but I think I may have way too many of them as I had trouble staying out of the bathroom afterwards. Carlotta was a good sport and cleaned up after me. Anyway, back to the present. The letter said that Carlotta was threw and Christine was gonna take her place. (Have you noticed that despite being born in France and raised here, he sounds American? Christine too? Odd!) I know Carlotta's voice isn't the way it used to be but she's got a lot more power to it than that little Christine has. I went with Carlotta to get our stuff. Just as we suspected, Christine put toads everywhere. The buffoons never left us alone for one moment. They kept drooling over Carlotta. How sad it is to see that kind of desperation. Carlotta finally agreed and we are going to perform tonight. Apparently, the fop had been in Carlotta's closet. The dresses were stretched out and stunk of Ode De Toilet. I noticed he had gotten some of his lip-gloss on a few of them. Carlotta told me about seeing Christine talking to mirrors. That girl needs to find some better hobbies. Carlotta made the managers drink out of her shoe. They would have done anything. I wonder if I could have gotten them to drink out of mine?

Crazy things happened again. The Phantom struck again. I wish Christine would take a liking to him. He's manlier and probably will distract her from that horrid hobby of reptiles. I have seen her with worms once. You would never believe what she did with them. Strange sense of humor. Anyway, back to the performance. Someone did something to Carlotta's spray and she ended up croaking like a frog. I had a hard time not laughing. I wouldn't want Carlotta to know that. She thinks it was Christine. It could have been. She does some strange practical jokes. I found a bunch of worms covered in tomato sauce once in the dining hall. (No that wasn't the thing I seen her do with the worms. Those ended up as a wig on poor M. Reyer's head.) They had to stop the show so Christine could take over. I ended up comforting poor Carlotta. They had the ballet moved up but that was disturbed by the drunken Buquet almost hanging himself. At first, he tried blaming the "ghost" but everyone knew. What an idiot! That killed the night.

Ciao!


	3. Chapter 3 Masquerade

**Disclamer: **I do not own any of the characters, WW or Richard Simmons. I also don't own the brownies or a gum-chewing, dress wearing fop. 

It's been pretty quiet around here lately. Christine brought me more brownies. After eating them, the colors were popping out all over. I think she is a great cook. She shouldn't waste her time on the fop. My brownies disappeared today. 

He was wearing lipstick the other night, not gloss. I think he also had eye shadow on. What a fop! She should go for the Phantom. It was the Masquerade tonight and it was going really well. The fop can't seem to dress himself. He had on a jacket and only part of it was on him, the other side was hanging off the back. Doesn't he have a valet? Carlotta has been giving Christine lots of dirty looks. Apparently, she has been leaving snakes and other slimy creatures all over her dressing room. Carlotta found a toad in her underwear before she finished dressing. The Phantom popped up and started barking orders. He had written an opera and gave the female lead to reptile fetish girl. That didn't make Carlotta happy. He told Carlotta that she needed to learn to act. I almost busted up right there but I had to pull myself together and make myself seem like a man and not a fop. Also so I could get a good look at Carlotta's cleavage. He then told me that I should join Weight Watchers or get on a Richard Simmons program. That made me go red with anger. But he is definitely a man if he has the nerve to say stuff like that to someone's face. Anyway, he went on to tell off the managers and then proceeded to pull gum out of Christine's cleavage. He then told her to keep away from the gum-chewing fop if she didn't want to wake up in a bubble. I could see some in her hair too. How can she stand that fop? They are engaged. UGH! Next thing I know the fop is running down the stairs buckling his pants. I hope he washed his hands. (YUCK!) Probably not as he was just buckling up on the stairs. He rushed up the stairs as the Phantom disappeared through the floor. Then the idiot tripped over his own two feet and fell in after him. Madam Giry had to let him out. We then found him in Carlotta's dresses again. His hair looked funny. I think he got a free hair cut from the Phantom. (I really like him, even if he did make fun of my weight.) Carlotta screamed at him and he rushed out. I don't think he got the note about wearing a corset. It looks like we are going to have a lot of fun soon. I wonder what happened up on the roof with the fop and Christine after the Ill Muto fiasco. Oh well. Ciao for now.


	4. Chapter 4 Don Juan Triumphant

I am sorry. This has been way overdue. Hopefully, people will like this.

Day 4

Well, apparently there was a lot of excitement. First, early in the morning, that flakey Christine decided to go visit her father's grave. WHO goes to a graveyard at 6am?!! I swear, that girl is nuts. That fop then bounded after her, blubbering something about how she is in danger. They come back at about 6:45 and the fop is bleeding! Neither one will say what happened. My guess is the moron fell off his horse onto a sharp stick. Then there is a lot of crazy talk about using the airhead (girl, not Count) to catch the Ghost. I think the only one that is dangerous is the fop. I found him in one of Carlotta's dresses putting on sparkly lip gloss. UGH! And Christine actually finds him attractive?! How is it that he is a French Viscount but doesn't have a French accent?! It's the same with Christine. Anyway, some crazy scheme was hatched. I don't remember too much of the night, as that crazy Viscount jumped on top of me and hit me with his cane. Last thing I remember is the Ghost had knocked him off of me. Carlotta later told me that the Ghost replaced me and the fop was swinging from the chandelier. I guess he weighed too much for it because apparently it came crashing down. Someone told me that the fop was screaming, "I am the fop of The Opera!" Last I heard that crazy girl ran off with the fop. But what does it matter, Carlotta finally agreed to marry me and retire. We are going back to Italy where there are no crazy lip-gloss loving fops.


End file.
